They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
