Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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