Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
