i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
