"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
