careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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