You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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