it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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