Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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