I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
