Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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