What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
