She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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