everyone is single if you try hard enough
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
