we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I smell like Dick and happiness
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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