yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
