3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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