Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
honey bunches of taint.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
