omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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