Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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