hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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