We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
