you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
