Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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