I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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