you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
