My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
