As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So many bounce houses so little time
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
false alarm, still single
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
