your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
