Well douche your snatch and let's go!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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