and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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