just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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