your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This girl is more easily done than said...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
