You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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