then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
