Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
