he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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