Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
