I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
