Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
