I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
