Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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