It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
