Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
