I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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