I've blown a few things in my day
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
