The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
