im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
