would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
