dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
