the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
