he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
