what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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