it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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