he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
