i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
