I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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